Next Year’s News?

NEXT YEAR’S NEWS?

Here is the news.  November 23, 2010.  One year into the future.  What a difference a year makes.

– President Obama got tough today, issuing a stern warning to the government of Iran who has now developed ten nuclear warheads.  “Develop anymore,” warned Obama, “and the U.S. will lead a motion before the United Nations calling for public censure.”  Sources say that the White House is “actively considering” sanctions.

– The president told member of the press today that he is much closer to a decision about the September 9, 2009 recommendation submitted by general McChrystal that calls for 40,000 more US troops in Afghanistan.

– New healthcare guidelines announced today suggest that no medical procedure of any kind are warranted for persons over the age of 65.  In a government study death rates did not significantly increase for those who had no government healthcare compared to those who did.  The HHS Secretary predicted the findings could save trillions of dollars in wasted taxpayer money.

– The unemployment rate decreased slightly this month to 23.1%.  The Obama White House welcomed the news and said that it was further evidence of a recovering economy.

– White House records now show that the Obama administration has created 311 million new jobs since the passage of its Stimulus Program.  This amounts to 5 million jobs more than the entire population of the country.

– A school district in Colorado was told to up the number of gay students in its classrooms or see an end to all government funded programs including school lunches.  The U.S. Justice Department has made the district a test case for enforcing the new version of the Hate Crimes Bill.

– The Fox News Channel was issued a warning from the FCC for publicly revealing the religion of the killer in the Boyton Beach bombing episode.  FCC Chairman Mohmmed Isamaren reminded the media that “bigotry of any kind is intolerable in our society and religious bigotry is the most reprehensible of all.”

Sarah Palin finished the 390th day of her book tour signing copies for 15,000 fans in Kokomo, Indiana, who waited hours in the rain for a chance to meet the former governor.

Brett Farve announced his retirement from the NFL.

NBC announced that the new Jay Leno Show will debut next week in the 3 A.M. EST time slot.

Charlie Weis, head coach of the Notre Dame fighting Irish, denied rumors that his 4-8 record had put his job in jeopardy.  Said Weis, “I think people can see that we could easily have won 6 of those games and then we would be sitting here with a record of 10-2.  But 4-8 is not good enough.  It is not good enough for Notre Dame and it is not good enough for me.”

 

Wead on Obama stimulus plan: Fox News

Obama and Leno? Wead on CNBC

Obama hesitates on McChrystal decision. Wead on Fox News

8 Responses to Next Year’s News?

  1. aarondm says:

    Doug, You forgot to mention a couple things!

    – House introduces a bill to ban Volcanoes from producing carbon pollution into the atmosphere.

    – Obama becomes first president to win MTV music video award. (Although he produced no music video)

  2. danu says:

    Doug, May the world getting better.

  3. tex2 says:

    You mean it’s going to take that long to impeach him?

  4. joeydacat says:

    This post was just crazy talk. Everybody knows Charlie Weis won’t be at Notre Dame this time next year!

    Presidential historian goes cynical. The honeymoon is truely over.

  5. joeydacat says:

    (edit).. truly over.

  6. yvonnehyde says:

    Comical, but frightening at the same time.

  7. joeydacat says:

    Main Entry: sar•casm
    Pronunciation: \ˈsär-ˌka-zəm\
    Function: noun
    Etymology: French or Late Latin; French sarcasme, from Late Latin sarcasmos, from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer, from sark-, sarx flesh; probably akin to Avestan thwarəs- to cut
    Date: 1550
    1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
    2 a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm
    synonyms see WIT

  8. carmelo65 says:

    Doug

    Huckabee just lost any chances to even win Iowa. It looks better and better for Sarah Palin now. Will we see a woman being nominated for US president in 2012?

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