Women are from Venus, men are pigs

      It hasn’t been easy being a man lately.  Men have been doing some pretty creepy things.  When I walk the dog, women and children give me dirty looks.  I dare not smile, or say a friendly, “hello.”
      Last October a story broke that Green Bay Packer legend,Brett Favre, had sent a cell phone picture of his penis to a New York Jets female reporter.  Of course, the stunned female reporter was not seduced.  She turned him into the NFL.  Favre, who was married, and was apparently smart enough to memorize  the offensive game plans of his football team was not smart enough to see how offensive his behavior would be to a lady.
      In February came the story that Republican congressman Christopher Lee was resigning after a shirtless picture of him surfaced.  The congressman, also a married man, was apparently responding to a Craig’s List dating advertisement.
      And right on the heels of the resigning congressman was a Michael Isikoff, NBC investigative report that had fourteen Army and Pentagon officials named in a lawsuit for covering up the rapes of women soldiers in the U. S. Army.  The Pentagon ignored the women’s cries for justice.  Even the respected Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, was named in the lawsuit.
      We all have read the stories of the Serbian Army’s rape of the civilian women of Kosovar.  And there was that famous rampage at the end of World War Two, when the Allies turned a blind eye  at the Red Army’s rape of women on the Eastern Front.  But only the United States can claim the hideous distinction of permitting the continuous rape of their very own uniformed soldiers in their very own ranks on their very own military bases.
      To prove the point that this alpha male insanity it not exclusively an American problem, CBS reporter Lara Logan, sustained a repeated, brutal sexual assault in Tahrir Square, as she tried to cover the story of the downfall of Hosni Mubarak.  The Egyptian men were in a frenzy, reportedly shouting, “Jew, Jew.”  As if that would justify rape.  Logan is not Jewish.
      For a moment, forget about  conservative and liberal, forget about right and left.   These are examples of the stark difference between the sexes.  And they have been revealed in glaring colors in recent months.
      Psychologists point out that men are stimulated by sight.  So men like Brett Favre, with little boy brains, make the assumption that women are the same as themselves.  They have different plumbing, but they are otherwise similarly motivated.  The congressman’s rather comical and embarrassing shirtless photo, where he flexes the few chest muscles he’s got, reveals the same ignorance.
      If both men had paused for a few minutes, they might have considered that the magazine Playgirl with its photos of nude men, failed utterly.   And the few subscribers it did manage to scrounge up were gay men anyway.   They might have considered that the archives of lyrics for country-western songs, which must run into the tens of thousands of pages and cover every possiblethought a women may have ever had, cannot boast a single entry where  a women falls helplessly in love from the sight of a man’s genitals.  But, I guess when the testosterone is pumping through one’s veins, logic is not preeminent.
      In fairness, if the news lately has shown how ignorant men can be of women, there have been some embarrassing moments for the women too.  Unfortunately, even those have shown that while women are from indeed out of it, from Venus, men are definitely pigs.
      Take, for example, the long, sad farewell of Elizabeth Edwards.   Remember, her husband, the Senator who almost became president?  Well, he had an affair with a media person assigned to his campaign.  Hey, it is a tradition for Democrat candidates, who love to emulate their hero, John F. Kennedy.
      As you may remember, Elizabeth was dying of cancer at the time.  And as the medicines and the stress of leaving behind the man and the children she loved had its full impact, she began to gain weight. When her book came out she went on a national promotional tour and in her interviews she made an effort to reclaim a little of her womanly dignity.  Elizabeth Edwards insisted that the other woman was much to blame.  “There is no excuse for a woman to do this.”  To hear Elizabeth Edwards pass on her husband’s explanation one would have thought that the Senator was practically dragged into bed. She claimed the woman said to him, “You’re so hot.”
      Elizabeth wanted the country to know that her husband John adored her.  That she had won the contest with the thinner, younger, more shapely competitor.  Said Elizabeth about John,  “He looks at me as if I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.  It matters”
      Most of the men in the television audiences had a tear in their eye but knew better.  John was , of course, still lying to Elizabeth.  It seems that if men deceive themselves into thinking that women, like themselves, are visually stimulated, women are fully capable of deceiving themselves into thinking that men are not.
      An even more embarrassing moment happened when the wife of Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas, decided it was time to resolved Anita Hill’s ridiculous claims.
The story about her long car ride with Thomas that had happened years before and how he had made crude and sophomoric advances, suggesting for example, that a hair on a soda can might be a pubic hair.  Mrs. Thomas could not believe that her erudite, brilliant, devout Catholic and now powerful Supreme Court Justice, husband,could have been so crude.  Even long ago.  And Thomas probably assured her many times that it was all an ideological attack by his detractors.  So she decided that time had probably brought Anita Hill to her senses and that she, Mrs. Thomas, would run this story down and put it to rest.
      The problem was that Anita Hill would not cooperate.  And no matter how sure Mrs. Thomas was of the truth, most men in the television audience knew that even brilliant intellectuals like Clarence Thomas can say and do awfully crude things when the testosterone is flowing.   Men are pigs remember?  But then women are from Venus and they can’t seem to understand what a pig really is.   And so Mrs. Thomas retreated from the fight more puzzled and confused than ever.
      What are we to make of this divide of the sexes?  And what can we learn about these glaring differences that are more pronounced than Moslem and Jew in the Middle East, or Catholic and Protestant in Ireland, or Democrat and Republican in the United States?
      We can celebrate those few educated men and women who are seeking to understand each other and respect the differences and not exploit them.  The women who accept, however puzzling, that men are visually stimulated, it is the way they are made.  The men who understand that women need wordsand relationship and security.  And both need to be respected.  Most important of all, we need to make sure that the ones who rule the office or the company or the school or the government department or the courtroom are not all men or all women.    We need some of both or abuse is sure to follow.

Published by Doug Wead

Doug Wead is a New York Times bestselling author whose latest book, Game of Thorns, is about the Trump-Clinton 2016 election. He served as an adviser to two American presidents and was a special assistant to the president in the George H.W. Bush White House.

14 thoughts on “Women are from Venus, men are pigs

  1. Hmm, Sounds like the media is working a smoke and mirrors thing; If this really is News? Makes you wonder what we should be looking at! The brain takes all things in, but what do we throw out? Why bare we keeping the junk?

  2. Both men and women are needed in the governing body to provide balance, but I wouldn’t want a woman to be the leader of the group, unless the office was purely ceremonial. That would go against the biological instincts of both sexes.

  3. Oh shut up ratify. If men are pigs for wanting women sexually then it also makes women pigs for wanting men sexually.
    Get your head out of your ass and stop beig an asshole to every man that believes the female body is beautiful. Or do you actually hate the female body?

  4. Hi Doug,

    I think you hit the nail right on the head. The difference between a man and a PIG is – respect. I personally don’t have a problem understanding or accepting that men are stimulated visually. I do have a problem when I talk to a guy and in a very, VERY short time the topic is me – naked. (disrespectful) And I’m really tired of the dog and pony show too. (guy does x, y or z just/only for sex) My experience is that guys don’t want to truly connect with women anymore. How piggish.


  5. How does the irrefutable propensity of the male sex class for extreme violence including impregnation raping of women get translated on this blog merely as men being visually stimulated? Visually stimulated to rape? Visually stimulated to murder? Visually stimulated to torture? Women are far from perfect yet despite the man-stream media over-blowing of pathetic sex-slavish murdering examples like Jody Arias, there are overwhelmingly more (like 95%+ more) heinous violent acts by men against women than women even begin to commit. Have you ever heard of a woman living with her two sisters who kidnapped three men and impregnated them while holding them tortured prisoners for year after year? Of course not. Only men do that. The point is, men invented gonzo torture and rape porn because they like to see women suffer. It turns men on — visually stimulating. Men do the raping (usually girls and women, but some boys and men, too). Men like ravening wolves are dangerous and more so when women are not clued in to men’s (unlike wolves) “fooled ya” capacity for the hypocrisy of higher primate intelligence. Men are dangerous to women. Even the nice men in our lives have been known aggressively and unexpectedly to turn on any one of us, dregs of disdain and derision if not violence a hair trigger away from any man’s seeming normality. It’s time we face it. We women have loved men too much and don’t hate men, but we deserve and need to fear men. You are our biggest threat.

  6. yeah I don’t get that. I am a divorced woman who still has a great relationship with her ex. We just grew apart – no one was unfaithful. While my ex was not for me he was always respectful of women. I don’t get why there seems to be these guys out there who have this complete hatred of women. It is obvious that it has more to do with them than anything else, for example they hate all women because the women they have invited into their lives have done them wrong. But that is their choice – they are the ones who chose these people. But if you look at people like rush Limbaugh and his obvious insecurities and character immorality, listened to by the same types who delussionaly accept this kind of behavior as a character strength, I have to wonder does he have a mother, sister, wife, God forbid daughter? Anyway I have to tell you that I have decided recently not to spend anymore of my energy trying to understand where this hatred comes from and where the bad behavior comes from. Okay, except for reading this blog, but that is it from now on I am done lol. This kind of behavior should not be defended or accepted. Thank you Doug for your blog

    1. Good points slapopydo.

      Well, some of this has to do with the differences between men and women and the ignorance of one about the other. Thus the jock thinks that the reporter is going to be turned on by seeing his private parts because he would be turned on by hers. So he sends her a pic. And the jock, who in this case is a rich celeb, is encouraged in this fantasy because of women who want his money and thus assure him that he is right even though he is making a fool of himself. One can see this onscreen in the young actor Eddie Murphy, whose early films have special appeal to adolescent boys. One can imagine Eddie surrounded by girls who only encouraged his crude words and actions as “sexy” when, in fact, most women would be more attracted to a softer, gentler, Denzel Washington.

      But the hatred?

      I wonder if it hearkens back to childhood, as many of these things do. Let’s suppose that they have a mother who is the subject of abuse by a man and she acts out her frustration on her little boy. And he is the victim because he cannot fight back or even understand. Maybe she sees her abusive man in her little boy and there are these moments of unfairness, with no explanation to the kid. Or maybe the mother’s father abandoned her mother and her and now at some unconscious level she is acting on this with her kid. “All men are jerks.” And she is thus creating another generation of the war of the sexes.

      And finally, maybe she is just bi-polar and it leads to inconsistencies in child rearing.

      In all of these cases the little boy grows to manhood either ignorant or with a chip on his shoulder.

      1. Doug thanks for your post. You know I do understand your point about a boy born to an uncaring mother and I’m sure that has some basis in hatred towards women but there are plenty of women and I mean a huge percentage of women who have had very unpleasant experiences with males when they were young and there in lies the very fundamental differences. Women as a whole know the world is not fair and by being born female we definitely drew short straw, but we don’t act out this aggressive kind of behavior seen by men worldwide. I mean it is astounding to me that there is so much domestic violence in this world. What does that say about a person who could physically hurt the one person in life they are suppose to love the most. I remember when all kinds of bad behavior by men was explained by comments like ” well it’s just men being men”, well …. NO NO NO, it’s not and men who understand that need to stand up and call these chumps out. I mean how much of a coward does one have to be to hurt a woman a child or an animal. God I love my Golden Retriever.

  7. Oh, oh…. OH btw I didn’t mean that last sentence in a weird way. Man, grow up people. I just meant that when I am sick and tired of hearing about all of the creepy stuff out there, I have my dog to remind me that God really did put something in this world that would love us unconditionally. Love Dogs.

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