Before the government turns over billions of dollars to those very automotive executives who have taken their industry off the cliff, shouldn’t they be looking for someone else? We will call him Mr. Goodwrench. I am talking about that “loose cannon” on the executive floor who warned about all of this and even offered thousands of pages of memoranda with alternatives. Shouldn’t Mr. Goodwrench finally be given the power to do what only he knew needed to be done long ago?
Now, who is Mr. Goodwrench? Well, I don’t exactly know. I would guess he is part engineer, part mechanic, part artist, part salesman and whole lot of demographic expert and statistician. He is so prescient that he knew I would be trading in my 20 years of Lincolns Navigators and Chrysler Mini vans for a Honda and a Toyota even before I did. He has been excluded by his colleagues as an alarmist, an eccentric, an oddball but now it turns out that he has been right all along.
Mr. Goodwrench may be young but not necessarily. He may be a gray beard, a visionary like DeLorean. He may be an old crackpot like Winston Churchill who turned out to be old but also right about Germany and Hitler. He probably has already been fired and if not, he is walking on egg shells on the corporate floor these days. He cannot even look anyone in the eyes lest they shoot back angrily, “yeah, you told us so, rub it in, rub it in, but you are still not getting your own car and driver and you will never set foot on the corporate jet.” You know they must all still be in denial on that executive floor.
Someone in power has already ordered a scrub of the e-mails because Mr. Goodwrench’s pleas may be interpreted by an uninformed journalist or government inspector as an indictment of their own executive stupidity. And at the same time, other executives are actually sending him “holiday greetings,” being friendly, so if Goodwrench ends up on Sixty Minutes and writes a book, he will be nice to them.
My point is this, why should Goodwrench be wasted as one weekend of national entertainment on a Sunday Night news show? Why shouldn’t he run General Motors? If we, the tax payers, are going to bail them out, why can’t we have someone at the top who is not in the cult but is objective, with common sense, who knows what will work and why? Why can’t we benefit from all of his good ideas? Why shouldn’t he have those billions to spend? And then maybe we could give the Japanese and the Koreans and Germans some competition.
Give us Goodwrench! If anybody knows who he is, or where he lives, speak up now! We know he is out there. Just as someone was laboring in the bowels of the FBI before 9-11 and was warning us about the use of jets as weapons. Why do we have to repeat this story? Give us Goodwrench!
Well, you say. It is one thing to see the crisis coming and even have the right ideas, the plans that can solve the problems but how can this guy survive the culture at the top? Does he have the corporate political savvy?
And the answer is that he doesn’t have to last very long. Just long enough to get us on the right track. And anyway, the corporate political animals that come out on top will all be stealing his ideas anyway.
Oh, one other thing. I have heard you nagging at me all through this blog. Yes, I know, Mr. Goodwrench may be a woman.